Reflections

I have hit the strangest writing block of my life. It’s been almost three months since I’ve written anything substantial, and normally I would be a little panicky and/or depressed by this (and both are there, lurking just out of sight, giving me flutters of anxiety and making me sob at random and inconvenient moments). I’m just not freaking out about it…yet.

It’s not that I don’t have ideas; there are dozens crashing into each other in my head. Old story concepts resurfacing (some sort of dystopian, Fast and Furious-type action novel, or that WWII story that will *someday* be finished), new ideas blossoming (YA rom-com in a Great British Bake-Off-esque setting, or something historical about Italian lace-makers or the Black Death or the Purple Gang), and of course, the more recent projects (a pirate duology, or more pressing: finishing the sequel to Blood and Water).

There’s the issue, though, the root of this particular block. Two agents have asked to read more of my manuscript, and that’s mind-blowingly amazing.

BUT.

I have received fourteen rejections. Fourteen, you say? That’s not so many. Your rejections can’t even legally drive. (that metaphor makes no sense and it’s that sort of lazy craft that’s likely why so many agents do not want to take on my project).

I know all the platitudes–I’ve written them out here before–so please don’t tell me it only takes one “yes” or point out I’ve received two of them (at least as far as reading more goes–and really all that means is I’m on the next level of waiting, the one where my hopes are not as carefully moderated). Two is somehow both a huge number and so scant–it only takes one “yes”, but it takes two “no”s to bring me back to nothing.

And then what? Well, I set aside Blood and Water and I work on another project and another until one gets picked up for representation. That’s all well and good, but what does it mean for me right now? Do I trust in the magic of the universe and focus on writing a sequel to a book that’s yet to be picked up, much less published, or do I hedge my bets and turn to a new project, something that might appeal to a few of those other agents who kindly asked me to keep them in mind for future submissions?

So that’s where I’m at, tossing half-hearted ideas around in my brain, scribbling a few notes for something that could develop into a plot point down the road, but not really *writing* much of anything.

And I promise I will update you lovely readers as soon as I hear back from either of “the two”!